hello 911 I want to report a theft. yes. A cutie stole my heart. No. I just want the cutie back. They can keep my heart. Thank you. Yes. I’ll stay on the line.
congrats to all of us for being the first generation to grow up online
I bet you there are scientists somewhere, watching us like:
oh my god, my heart stopped because I thought he spilled it on the laptop
I love it when people compliment my hair like thank you I grew it myself
I know I don’t greet you anymore because I am a lazy ass, but you should know every time I see that little number go up I smile.
So thank you for clicking follow even though I’m a ball of issues.
Don’t tell me. We’re about to go over a huge waterfall
sharp rocks at the bottom?
bring it on
Wait a second. I’ve seen this gif plenty of times before, but I just realised that the picture on the back wall is pole dancing loki holy shit.
MY BROTHER TEXTED A RADIO STATION TO GIVE A SHOUTOUT AND THE RADIO STATION ACTUALLY READ IT OUT AND IT WAS “GREAT DAY AT THE BEACH WITH MY GIRL FROM HEYWOOD JABLOMI” AND THEY READ IT ALOUD AND THE ENTIRE RADIO WENT DEAD FOR A FEW SECONDS BECAUSE THEY REALIZED WHAT THEY SAID I’M LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD
If you see something like this, DO NOT CALL AN EXTERMINATOR!
Call a beekeeper, they can relocate the hive instead of killing them. Bees are dying at an alarming rate, please do not contribute to that! They are so important for our ecosystem!
yo fuck this i aint gonna call no beekeeper i’m moving before i’m dead
I’m going to call an exterminator so the exterminator can kill them. I’ll be able to sleep at night knowing that there are less bees in the world.
No bees = no food.
No food = no life.
Congratulations on destroying the world.
Because you seem to not understand that bees pollinate flowers and literally bees are the reason we have food.
Did you guys even watch bee movie
you really really must call a bee keeper!
My family’s house had it’s entire attic taken over by bees one year. They slowly started appearing in the house, and then they were everywhere. We called a bee keeper, and he removed what he said was the largest domestic honeycomb/bee nest he’d ever seen. I was so terrified I’d gone to stay with a friend. My folks called me to meet the bee keeper, and he led me on the most magical journey through the house. He explained the bees were harmless if you move calmly through them and don’t swat at or harass them. He was only stung once because he accidentally put his hand down and smooshed one. The bees landed on me, walked a bit, then buzzed away. All honey combs and bees were safely removed and relocated. Call a bee keeper, they are awesome!
my parents definitely did not raise me to be a queer feminist filled with the wrath of a thousand enraged dragons and yet here i am
How has nobody settled for me yet I’m a solid 3
THIS. MOTHERFREAKING THIS.
Excuse me as I causally anonymously mail this to all my relatives’ homes
Was that all your [Loki] hair?
BE RIGHT BACK TOM IS PLAYING WITH HIS HAIR
yes that was the 1 picture I wanted to show you now gimme my phone back